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Brace yourself for a real spine-tingling
statement right here at the beginning. Are you ready? Are you SURE
you’re ready? Okay, … here it goes…
Every married individual was at one time
single!
 Boy,
that sure was profound I know, and yet it is a statement that would do all
of us, both married and single, a lot of good to acknowledge. Being aware
of this fact would help a lot of us who are married to be reminded
that we too were on the “single” side of the bridge looking across
the river dreaming of what great things might await us on the “married”
side. This acknowledgment can also benefit a host of singles out
there as well. A reminder of the fact that those married were once as you
are, surely will bring the realization that they are no different than
you… and certainly no better than you. You see, there is this
subtle lie of the devil that wants to make you feel as though you are a
failure because you are still single and all your friends are married. He
wants to convince you that:
“YOU are destined to be an old maid
or a balding bachelor.”
“There is No Hope for you.”
“You are too fat, or too ugly, or just too stupid because you turned down
every opportunity you had to have a spouse.”
Well let me remind you of what many of
you have already learned. Some of your friends jumped at the first little
bird that came whistling, and if the truth were known (and if they could
do it all over again) they too would be a little less “flighty” in their
choice for a lifetime partner but for them it is too late.
Their unhappiness has served as a warning beacon to some of you to wait
upon the Lord.
In a
world that is sending
 compelling
signals and negative pressures at us from all directions it is essential
that we have a proper FOCUS!
You are a part of a unique community of
people. There has been so much talk about couples, partners, and marriage
in our country over the past number of years. The world is pushing for
same sex unions and homosexual marriage.
(To our horror even some large denominational churches have joined this
parade.)
On the other hand the true church and the
moral crowd decided to come back with a stronger push for family values.
A movement has begun to try to constitutionally define marriage as a union
between a man and woman only. However, statistically we have a real
problem in that the divorce rate in the church is equal to, and sometimes
greater than that in the world. While this is not necessarily true among
independent holiness churches, it is true that we have often presented a
poor example of solid, godly marriages. When the issue of divorce comes
beating at the door of our church we have preached against it with a
vengeance and yet failed to emphasize the sacredness and
permanence of the marriage union before a man and woman
exchanges their vows in our altars.
 What
does that have to do with you?
You’ve probably heard it said before:
“It’s better to be single and wish you were married than to be married and
wish you were single.”
This little phrase that so easily rolls
off the tongue of another married man or woman is no comfort to you
because THEY are married, and YOU are still SINGLE! While
there is real truth in that statement, it doesn’t help you where you are.
I want to help you to re-focus your
outlook on life as a single adult and encourage you in biblical fashion to
have a heart for God and His will first. Jesus said, “If therefore
thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light” (Matthew
6:22). He said further, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness…” (Matthew 6:33 –
I added the italics
for emphasis).
In a
very real sense I have been made aware of a problem. In our society,
marriage has for the most part been viewed as a positive “right” choice
for everybody – a goal to be reached for and sought after.
Unfortunately, so many have gotten into the rut of merely seeking a man or
a woman and have failed to seek God, and God alone FIRST
(Matt. 6:33). Because of this imbalanced thrust, singleness becomes a
negative, “wrong” choice, or a failure to meet what everyone automatically
expects.
Maybe you are reading this
article and agree that you feel pressure from friends, parents or even
well intentioned church people to get married. There has been so much
emphasis on “waiting on that perfect person” or “finding the
will” that when it doesn’t materialize it can leave the single person
with the overwhelming feeling of being a failure, or unnecessarily guilty.
The Single Adult
Historically single adults (early 1900s) comprised only 2-3% of the adult
population. However, in today’s world they are a rapidly growing
population. The singles in the new millennium are generally hard workers,
physically active, healthy and quite affluent. Never again will America
have a 97% married to 3% single population.
To say
that all singles are lonely is simply not true. Some married people may
be the loneliest though married! Some buy into the myth that all singles
want to get married. It is as though singles are “half” persons
who spend their lives looking for the other half. GOD NEVER CREATED
“HALF” PEOPLE!
Furthermore, television and the ungodly
movie industry send the message that everyone is sexually active. This is
simply NOT true!
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SO – How are you supposed to live? What
is
 God’s
purpose for the single adult? Is there encouragement and instruction from
God’s Word? YES!
It may surprise you, but at the core,
God’s will for the single adult is the same for a teenager, and is the
same for a married couple and widow or widower!
What is it that God desires for you as a
single adult? God desires Singleness of Heart - a heart solely set
on Christ first! The first step in getting to that desired
place is to change your focus!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Away from
the pressure of your friends or family
and possibly even
the well-meaning people you go to
church with.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus!Away from the stereotypes and what
everyone may be thinking about single individuals.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus! Away from what may be your
own pride.
We need to focus (or re-focus), which
involves the eyes… What does that have to do with our heart?
Consider Matthew 6:19-24
Lay not up for
yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and
where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures
in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do
not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your
heart be also. The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be
single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil,
thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is
in thee be darkness, how great is that
darkness! No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one,
and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the
other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
 The
eye is a symbol for the purpose, motive and intention
of the heart. Our lives are powerfully influenced by our heart. Our body
functions effectively based on how well we see, and physically we can only
see through our eyes. If our two eyes are confused so we see double, they
distort our vision. They must form a single image. Therefore, we must be
careful what we gaze upon because it affects us!
What the heart craves it sees!
You’ve no doubt heard people say, “Well,
I see it this way,” or “I just don’t see it that way.” Some have said,
“We don’t see eye to eye.” What does all this mean? This is talking
about a belief system and not a physical sense. Curious, is it not, that
Jesus used the heart and the eye in the same context?!
1 John 2:16
“For
all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes,
and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”
When our focus is too much on the world
and its allurements, we are drawn away from a contented relationship with
the Lord. No man can serve two masters. Where your treasure is there
will your heart be also. If you are getting swept into the fads and
fashions of this world, your focus is most certainly not on the Lord.
Your heart is divided!
Maybe as a lady, you feel you must have
that new dress, or that purse, or a boyfriend. Men, maybe you have your
heart set on that new truck, or a boat, or that certain shotgun. WHERE
IS THE LORD IN THAT EQUATION???
Here is my message to you.
Our eyes must be fixed – It must
be a heavenly gaze! There is a danger of having worldly desires.
Darkness enters rather than light! (Matthew 6:23) Christ, the Light of
the world, must be the Object of our gazing.
The single heart is the single eye – the
motive to seek God first and serve Him alone. Singleness of
purpose and intention will keep us from the snare of having a divided
heart, and possibly a broken heart.
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